Have you ever noticed how sex tips change depending on their intended audience? The stuff aimed at men is all about how to get it. Women, on the other hand, are endlessly badgered with how and why they should give it up. For example:

There are things, say the experts, that can help [low libido]. One is to have sex when… you don’t feel like it. (Glamour)

Granted, there are a lot of things that people do because they should, or because it’s good for them, rather than because they feel like it. Revision, exercise, work, eating fruit instead of chocolate cake—that sort of thing.

Sex, however, shouldn’t be one of them. Unless you’re on a religious mission to go forth and multiply the point of sex is pleasure. At a push, intimacy and communication. It’s not going far out on a limb to say that having sex when you don’t feel like it isn’t pleasurable and foments resentment than intimacy.

So why in the name of Zeus would you? Unless you’re getting paid it’s not your job. Roughly half the world’s populations has this sussed. The other, vagina-bearing, half seems to have largely bought the propaganda that sex is something we should do to please other people, rather than ourselves. This is madness.

Sex shouldn’t be fruit salad, it should be chocolate cake. It should be a sweet, sticky, indulgent, sensual craving. Would you ever force yourself to gorge on cake if you weren’t hungry? Of course not, that would be ridiculous. Just as ridiculous as having sex when you’re not in the mood.